Real Religion

Scene: One person with a small tape recorder, ready to tape a letter to a friend on the mission field.

Dear Patrick,
How’s the mission field?
I know this tape is long overdue, please forgive me, I have been very, very busy this week.
Last Sunday Evening, the Pastor asked me to preach. He gave me a week to prepare, but he also asked me to preach on a very specific subject. He’s never given me a topic before. But I said sure. He asked me to preach on “Real Religion.” The pastor was soon pulled away by someone wanting to talk to him, so I sat on the front pew and begin to pray, “God, I don’t know what real religion is, please show me.
Just then I felt someone touching my arm. I looked up. It was Paul. You remember Paul, it was his mother that went through that very bitter divorce about 6 months ago. Well, Paul asked if we could talk. I said sure, but not right now, I have some very important things I have to pray about. So Paul went home.
Well, the search was on for “Real Religion.”
I decided that real religion must be the way people see us. So on Monday, I went down to the local Christian bookstore to pickup a bumper sticker, a T-shirt, and a button or two.
I saw one bumper sticker, it said, “If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.” But I didn’t buy it, I figured there was too much truth to that one.
There was a million, gave or take 10, sayings on these things. So I begin to pray, “God show me what real religion is all about.”
Just then I heard my name called, it was Paul. He came up to me and we talked for a minute or two then he said, I have to talk to you. I said, OK, I have this sermon I have to get ready for this Sunday Evening, so we can talk at my house on Monday Evening, OK? He nodded his head and walked away.
Well, I finally settled for the bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you Love Jesus!” You know when I found the most people who love Jesus, at an intersection when I don’t notice it, but light turns green.
I soon realized that real religion isn’t in a bumper sticker.
So the search continued.
I finally decided it must be in the rules we live by. So on Wednesday I went to the park. Remember that time you were visiting and we took those kids to the park. That park. Well, I sat down at one of the picnic tables and begin to write out a list that I called the 10 promises. Ten things that I would promise God, for real religion.
1. I promise to give God a dime a day, which’s almost $40.00 a year.
2. I promise to read one verse out of the Bible every morning, before I eat breakfast. I figure I’ll be through the book of Genesis by the year 2000.
3. I promise to pray for my community every day. Oh by the way, did I tell you that Esther next door is getting a divorce, again. This will make her fifth. Oh, and Rosey’s son, Ted, just got arrested for drugs. We need to pray for them.
4. I promise to be in church every time the door opens. Unless I’m sick, or unless I can get overtime at work, or unless I’m on vacation, or unless I was out all night the night before at a party and I need my sleep, or of course not if there is a rerun of Dukes of Hazard. You know that’s my favorite show.
5. I promise to give up liver. Yuk!!!
6. I promise to always say nice things about the Pastor, unless of course I think he’s wrong.
After number six, I got writer’s block, so I bowed my head and ask God to help. I asked God to show me real religion. Suddenly I realized someone was setting with me at the picnic table. I looked up and realized it was Paul.
Before I said anything, he said, “I have to talk to you. I really, really have to talk to you.”
I said, “Paul, I have to get to the bottom of this sermon that Pastor asked me to preach. I promised we could get together on Monday. Since this is the summer, we’ll see if you can spend the night and we will talk then.” Paul looked very sad as he walked away.
But, Patrick, I had this very spiritual thing that I had to do.
By Thursday Evening, I could not come up with anymore rules, I mean promises, to live by, so I decided that “The 10 Promises,” weren’t real religion. So I decided to stay up all night praying. I laid down in bed and begin to pray about, “real religion.” When I woke up the next morning, I had it. Crusades!
I decided that I was going to produce the biggest crusade, this town has ever seen. I figured that the park was the best place to have it, so I went to the county court house to get a permit to have the crusade in the park. Our county court house is so big, it is easy to get lost. I couldn’t remember if the woman said left at the stairs or right at the drinking fountain. So within minutes, I was lost. So I stopped and prayed, “God, I’m lost and I need to find the Permits Office. I need You to show me what real religion really is.”
I started around the corner and saw Paul sitting on a bench, toward the end of the hall. I walked right up and said, “Hi, Paul, How have you been?”
He bowed his head and started to cry. That’s when I noticed he was in handcuffs.
I guess I said all that to explain why Paul is staying in my guestroom. He was released into my custody and we have to be in court on Monday Morning.
(Click off the tape recorder, set the recorder down and walk away.)

Used by permission of CareActing Company